Ellen Borggreve Design

Playful Juju

I just finished the panda meant for an eBay auction starting this Sunday. I really long to get back into the swing of things on eBay and have decided to make some truly one of a kind creations for that purpose. I will try to have the most elaborate bears for eBay from now on. The little raccoon will be on eBay on the following Sunday. I have not been able to persuade myself to make a face for him. My raccoons look so much like Caya, that it makes me cry to work on that face. I have done a lot of crying as it is.  I think I am in need of a very good beautician, a very, very talented one who can unpuff my face (somethings like ''unchain my heart'' but different....LOL )
Want to have a tiny preview of mr panda....??? He will be on eBay starting Sunday August 2nd (yes....of this year....)

Deduct doggy from Ellen and...

you'll get a very unhappy Ellen. I thought I was nowhere near ready for a new puppy and I really thought I wanted to enjoy the freedom of being able to go on vacations and just go somewhere for an entire day or weekend, but fact is....I have been feeling like that proverbial canary in the cage, that once it is opened still does not want to leave the cage. I think I am looking for another kind of freedom, even if that is hard to understand for people in my family and friends.
I will have to find a solution for the holidays for my doggy, but now at least we are sure that I just don't do well without a dog. I am just not my best me without an animal to care for and to laugh about. She will never be able to take Caya's place, but I think at least we will have some fun again in our life.
Last Sunday something snapped and it finally really hit me that my girl is gone. I have cried ever since. I really have to get myself together again and just live in the moment.
I do enjoy my tutorials though and I have been writing them in advance now. That is how much I love doing them. I will start writing the airbrush tutorials too. I have every reason to want to write them now. After Caya died I might have been in a cleaning mode (still not out of it actually), but I forgot to clean my airbrush, so......I attached it again on Monday and a big blob of paint came out immediately when only air had to come out. First lesson in airbrushing.....clean, clean, clean your airbrush-gun! You'll regret it if you don't...

Oh and....in case you are wondering....Yes, we are now looking for a new puppy. I can't tell you much more about it now, because we don't even know if there will be a puppy for us in the litter we have in mind, but fingers crossed, right?

Sugary sweet

She is finished! My pink bear.... She is a totally new design and her paws were a time-consuming affair, which I really enjoyed actually. I thought she would be 15 inches, but she turned out to be 16 inches. I thought you might like to have a peek :)
This is Sugar

And this is her again...

The weather was not so great when I took these pictures, in fact it was as good as pitch dark, but....I had to show her to you :)

Getting there

I just finished writing two tutorials for The Teddy Tutor, so I am now back on schedule there. That is a huge relief. I love all my work for The Teddy Tutor and want to keep my promise of a tutorial every week, so I needed to catch up quickly now :)

Good news about the bears too....My non-face mode seems to be gone. I will probably have to wipe away some tears if Caya's face will shine through, but it is also wonderful to have this job and be able to keep her near. I have embroidered noses and am now in the finishing stages of three bears.

I also got back to my usual photography and took pictures of Jolie this evening. Just a few to get back into the swing of things....Would you say I love pastels or is this just a coincidence ???

Jolie and I now share the same hair style :))

No faces, just sewing

I am sorry to keep you all waiting for the little raccoon....I am working my usual 9 to 6 days again in the studio and am sewing away on all kinds of new bears. Designing I can do, sewing I can do too, but making those faces come alive somehow fills me with anxiety at the moment. I think I might be afraid to see Caya's face shine through and it will inevitably do so, because her face can be found in almost all of my bears. I will not be able to put it off any longer though, because my desk is now filled with 5 projects, all sewn up....and I actually really want to have the raccoon ready soon for eBay.... Sigh....I'd better get to work....
Not just doom and gloom to report though....I can tell you that I have never designed so many new bears since my first year in bear making and I am very focussed (which is a huge hurray).  And....now that I keep putting off the faces....the rest of the bears seem to become more elaborate....There will be some really beautifully pedicured bears coming up....if only they would not be headless :)

Getting on with life...

is not so easy. I just came back from the local council to remove the dog from our tax payments. It is one of those things that feels really cruel. You have to get a letter proving that your dog has died, then go to the council and have her removed from the register. I have not been so bad these last few days, but having to do this in person with that letter from my vet made me break down in tears again....I am glad that is over though.
I am working on a pink bear and a new panda at the moment. I still don't think I can do a decent face at the moment, but sewing I can do (and cleaning....cleaning....cleaning and more of the same...I am hopeless)

Summer in the sand

You all know by now that every time I feel unhappy there comes that moment that I need to grab hold of my camera....Oh, what would life be without the invention of the photo camera....?
I love taking pictures that look a bit vintage and have a dreamy atmosphere. The weather was lousy today, so I had to stick to the studio and got Summer out for some pictures....

Still on my camera

I just found this picture still on my camera...

I can now look at it and don't feel so sad.

Glueing back the pieces

The good news is....I started working again yesterday and I think I no longer have any liquid left to produce more tears. Last week I tried to start my work again, but I had a few rotten days, crying my eyes out the entire time.
Yesterday I made a new soft sculpture face to accompany my raccoon and I am also working on the secret bear project for The Teddy Tutor that will be even more exciting than I thought before. More details on that soon.
I designed new banners today and a new look for my mailing list e-mails and took some parcels to the post office. It feels good to just do stuff again. It is all taking a bit of time though...
To all of you who have sent me wonderful, moving messages...again...thank you so much! I agree with you that for most people it would be best to adopt a new puppy. It is not the best solution for me though....not now.... Caya was something special and I can compare her to 21 other dogs that I have owned. Apart from that, I have had old and ill dogs for 8 years in a row now and that caused me to always be on edge...listening to every sound in the house. It is nice to not have that for a while, so I can just live for a while and even more important....to live the creative life that I crave for....
You know what I did to glue that broken heart of mine??? I enrolled in another class at www.joggles.com I am now going to make a mermaid's chair. It is something completely different and will therefore be a wonderful distraction. I'll keep you posted...I also ordered 4 books on cloth doll making...I like to overdo stuff :)))
Have a happy day!

Mixed Emotions

My emotions seem to be taking me up and down at the moment, but at least I am working again. I am testing all the last pattern bits for the Teddy Tutor's secret bear project and I am finishing the raccoon with something ultra cute :))) Just wait and see...Hopefully he'll be finished tomorrow.
I think I will start walking again, the same thing I did when Amor and Cino died. It will help me clear my mind.
I am still cleaning as well....hahahaha....I don't know why I always have to clean so much when something happens in my life. I can't seem to stop. Boy, does my house look sparkling clean....If you get visitors to see the floor first and then you, it must now be clean enough though.
The raccoon is calling....He desperately needs a cute face :)

P.S. I have had over 150 e-mails and am struggling to catch up. Please know I appreciate all your very kind thoughts more than you will ever know. Thank you so much. I don't think I have the time to respond to all of them, but wanted to let you know that each and every one is special to me. You are great!